Remember your strengths - a
vital part of being confident
We said elsewhere that one of the keys to
building self-confidence is to carry with
you memories of your most successful moments
and to use them to reinforce your
self-confidence and self-esteem at moments
when it might need a little boost. Another
method is to fully appreciate your
strengths, and to remind yourself of them as
often as possible.
If you look at the list of strengths
below, you'll find some that apply to you,
no matter how lacking in confidence you may
feel. You can then carry with you the
knowledge that you do indeed have positive
qualities and that you are a person who has
strengths upon which you can build.
Are you:
A good listener? One of the greatest
qualities of the confident person is the
ability to share listing time.
Empathic, able to relate to others? You
have a natural understanding of how people
work.
Creative and imaginative? What do you
like to do in your spare time? Is this
something at which you are confident?
Good at organizing things and people ?
Anyone who runs a family must surely have
some organisational ability!
A logical thinker? Are you a great
problem solver?
Tenacious, brave courageous or
persistent? Any of these is a mark of
self-confidence. It's easy just to overlook
occasion on which you displayed these
qualities. Don't let your memory be so
selective!
A good communicator? Do you express your
ideas clearly, in words, pictures, actions
or non-verbally?
Someone who can influence other people?
If you influence others, you must have
confidence, as influencing others is as sign
of personal power.
Cool-headed? Good in a crisis? Again,
this is a real mark of the self-confident
individual.
Good at keeping cool under pressure? As
you go thorough this list and assess your
strengths and weaknesses, you may find that
you have more positive qualities than you
imagined.
If you're not finding positive qualities,
think a little harder! You must have them,
because all people do to a greater or lesser
extent.
Decisive? Do you see how these behaviours
and attitudes mark out a confident person?
The essence of many of these characteristics
is that they suggest a person is
self-assured, confident in his or her own
judgement, and able to rely on their own
sense of what is right, even when others
might be discouraging, conflictual or
negative.
Do you have tenacity - the ability to
keep on going, and to keep others going with
you? This is a mark of leadership, not just
confidence.
An adaptable person? Someone who can run
with the changing times and keep up at the
front, enjoying the journey and gaining
self-esteem and self-assurance from the fact
that they adapt easily?
If you're answering no to some of these
questions, please don't feel down-hearted.
The point is that many of these traits are
the mark of confidence in particular
situations, and as we have said several
times, not all people are confident in all
situations. You're not going for a 100%
score here - you're just trying to identify
the areas where you have the signs and
traits of self-confidence.
Optimism and positivity are qualities
associated with confidence. In these
changing times, it can sometimes seem
difficult to keep a positive attitude. But
when you're confident of your own position
in life, confident that your attitudes are
based on a strong foundation, you can
maintain your confidence in the face of
almost any problem or challenge.
Being realistic is a sign of a mature,
confident person. Not taken in by con
merchants, get rich quick scams, and
untrustworthy people is a sign of a mature
mind and a confident person.
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