you want to develop sexual self-confidence?
Do you think of "sex" when you hear the word
"sexual" or "sexuality"? Well, sexuality
is much more than sexual intercourse; to be
sexual means to exemplify the basic essence of
our sexual selves as females or males.
It includes how we feel about ourselves, our
sexual beliefs and behavior, our sexual values
and emotions, and how we use our God-given raw
Our sexuality affects every aspect of who we are
and what we do as human beings. Our sexuality
contributes to our sense of self and
raw sexual energy
is a creative flow
that permeates our being and makes us
quiver with emotion, sensation and anticipation.
It is the energy of creativity, emotional life
and sexuality, as well as being a source of joy
and pleasure which is healing and bonding. And,
yes, it controls how one reaches out and relates
Sexual or erotic energy is a route to higher
spiritual powers and to the essence of
minds, bodies and spirits depend on the
sensuality of being sexually alive, vital,
joyous and fulfilled.
Sexual energy produces
passion and connection in sexual love and
excites us with love and life. When energy is
flowing we see our
thoughts, emotions, and actions are infused with
purpose, meaning, passion, sensuality and
desire, with abundance of vitality and life.
are aware of the flow of erotic energy around
our body, and become better lovers.
This is great for our sexual partners, and
supportive of our personal confidence too.
self-confidence is the knowledge we've
reached a level of psycho-sexual development
where we feel desirable without the desire for
anything else outside us.
We know the unique and valuable part of us is
sexual - and we want to offer it unconditionally
to a sexual partner. It's a higher level of self
Sexual self-confidencedetermines how we interact with the opposite
sex, who we feel attracted to, the things we try
and what we avoid. Our sexual self
confidence affects everything we think, feel,
say and especially do, and it touches
everything and everyone we contact.
It even influences how we stand, the way we
walk, talk, respond to stress, and go about
everyday things; it determines how we seek out
success and even what that means to us.
When you have high sexual-confidence in yourself
as a sexual man or sexual woman, you attract the
You project some kind of magnetic sexual state
because you're free of judgments, inhibitions,
dependent neediness, insecurities, anger and
resentment, wounds, the trauma of painful
humiliations, free of confusions, lacking in
jealousies, have no fears or inadequacies, are
untouched by rejection or failure, and have no
need of control and conflict, and self-doubt,
confusion and shame are unknown to you.
You can direct your sexual interests, sexual
urges, sexual energy and activities to the
little spark of interest that fires up into a
strong emotional connection and a sexual lasting
When you have high sexual self-confidence as a
sexual male or sexual female you are
self-assured, very relaxed, sensuous and better
able to use your body as an
intelligent channel for ideas, emotions,
sexual interest and sexual desire. You can
figure out how to get what
you want out of life and you will always operate in ways that
actually help others get what they want as well.
When you have a strong sexual confidence, you
love lovemaking and sex and take the time and
trouble to please your sexual partner; you enjoy
making love for much greater time because your
innate sense of your sexual value is
Your erotic yearnings, sexual feelings,
libidinous desires, and sexual impulses connect
you strongly with your sexual partner.
The higher your level of supreme sexual self confidence the
more noticeable your
sexual aura and your erotic presence. With these, you do not need to act or dress "sexy"
because you are sexy!
sexual people you can almost
feel their sexual
energy. And of course, when the opposite sex
feels that energy, they are irresistibly drawn
to you, even when they don't know why.
The differences between people in sexual
confidence is immense: the difference between being
in the sexual "zone" or being sexually fumbling
suppose that you have a tendency to
ejaculate prematurely? This common problem
can ruin sex for both men and women, shatter
a man's sexual self-confidence and even lead
to high levels of stress between partners.
treatment for premature ejaculation is
surprisingly quick and easy, and you can
learn at home how to control your
ejaculation. This treatment program will
give you the power to choose when you
ejaculate during sex.
But of course
sexual confidence is not just about being
able to control your ejaculation, though
that is a major part of being a good lover.
You also need
to know the right sexual techniques, the
best sex positions, and the best way to
develop a loving and intimate relationship.
For advice on these aspects of
relationships, and advice on sexual
dysfunctions, check out these helpful sites.
Finally, there is the difficult and
challenging question of erectile
dysfunction. Treatment for erection problems is
actually not difficult in many cases, but
this is a problem which can shake your
self-confidence and sense of masculinity,
so if it affects you, then start looking for
effective treatment for erectile
Sex is often is a
source of great pleasure and fulfillment, but
even when you feel satisfied with your sex life,
anxiety about your sexual performance has much
more to do with your experience of sex - whether
it reinforces your sense of self-worth or not.
So what is a "normal" sex life? What sort of activities are normal?
wonder if their sex lives are normal -
especially around fantasies and masturbation.
A lot of
information on frequency of sexual intercourse
is misleading - the truth is that an average is
just that and hides very high and very low
numbers, all of which are normal.
The success of
your sex life is really based on how sexually
satisfied and fulfilled you are. Does that
depend, for you, on how many orgasms you have?
Or how easily you reach orgasm?
with sex will depend on
how successful your sexual
intercourse is, as well as things like premature
ejaculation, delayed orgasm, and whether or not
you can come during sex if
you are a woman - these things all produce a reduction of sexual
self-confidence, as well as stress and tension.
is "normal" sexual behavior depends on
cultural and emotional things like the standards
of normality in a society. Apart from S&M, more or less every
sexual behavior between consenting adults is
normal, when judged by how many men and women
Of course, men
and women all respond to a huge variety of
sexual stimuli, which is fine if no emotional or
physical harm results and no discomfort or
conflict is caused.
The best way to
find out is to ask your partner. If some sexual
practice causes guilt, shame, or anxiety, or
your mood is persistently down, then things need
to change. If your sex life makes you feel
positive it's likely your sexual relationship is
What can we do
about sexual issues?
professional therapist. This might be a sexual
psychotherapist or a doctor if there is a
medical issue causing erectile dysfunction.
But many people
will not see a professional, in which case the
nest best solution is to seek help from an
effective self help program. For common sexual
conditions which can reduce sexual pleasure, we
have some selections as follows.
The first and
foremost condition which destroys a man's sexual
self-confidence though not necessarily his
desire to have intercourse, is premature
ejaculation. This has been defined as a man
ejaculating before either he or his partner
wishes, regardless of how long that might be in
suggestion of sex being over before it is
complete. For men who wish to know what causes
premature ejaculation, there is plenty of
material available there.
prevalence of premature ejaculation is
discussed here, and as you can see it is so
common as to be regarded as normal! This
emphasizes the difficulty of actually defining
what is normal, as we suggested above. Most
people - most men, certainly - would appreciate the ability to last longer during sex, even
if this made their sexual performance
Lots more men than is
generally appreciated have issues around
getting and staying hard.
It's probably true to say that this is more of a
sexual self-confidence sapper than anything
else, because the ability to get an erect penis
and make love is such a fundamental part of a
man's sexual self-esteem and self-confidence.
erectile dysfunction is surprisingly successful.
There are wide
variations in the level of sexual desire among
men and women; sexual desire also fluctuates for
each person throughout life. If a couple's
differences in levels of sexual desire is small,
they can negotiate their sexual activity so that
they remain sexually self confident.
differences in sexual desire are large, there is
a negative impact on the sexual relationship.
with the lower level of desire may feel he or
she is being pressured into sex and this can
lead to resentment, anger and greater decline in
sexual desire. The one with the higher libido
may feel unloved, unwanted and even sexually
Dealing with a
large difference in sexual desire can be
It's good for
the relationship when the man or woman with the
higher libido feels his or her sexual needs are
being respected and the one with the lower
libido feels he or she is not being pressured
might provide sexual gratification for the
former without sexual intercourse.
The use of
masturbation or oral sex avoids unwanted sexual
experience if one partner doesn't feel like
It can also
help sexual self confidence when the person with
the lower level of sexual desire gets emotional
satisfaction from pleasing the other partner.
Both partners feel cared for and worthy.
What about couples who experience
problems when their sexual interests are
Negotiation skills are needed to arrive at a
pattern of sexual behavior that is acceptable to
male and female partners.
And of course, don't engage in behavior you
find distressing or repellent; but you might
like to try some experimentation with your
partner's sexual fantasy or behavior to help you
explore your own feelings. There's always
counseling, as well.
What are the
conditions that make it possible for a person to
engage in satisfying sexual behavior?
To be sexually
aroused normally, and function sexually, you
need to be sexually self-confident, free from
anxiety, enjoy mental and physical stimulation,
and be able to focus attention on arousing
thoughts, feelings or behavior.
self-confidence includes knowing you'll be able
to succeed sexually, believing you are
attractive, and trusting your partner has good
course, anxiety can lead to sexual
failure. Performance anxiety
interferes with sexual arousal. The inability to become
aroused can increase the anxiety.
In general, we
get a sense of our sexuality
and sexual needs being met by the mental
stimulation of a partner they love or find
attractive, physical stimulation, and sexual
to be sexually arousing, there must be no
distraction by thoughts of possible failure or a
lack of self-confidence.