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Sexual Self-Confidence

Men: Do you want to develop sexual self-confidence?

Do you think of "sex" when you hear the word "sexual" or "sexuality"? Well,  sexuality is much more than sexual intercourse; to be sexual means to exemplify the basic essence of our sexual selves as females or males.

It includes how we feel about ourselves, our sexual beliefs and behavior, our sexual values and emotions, and how we use our God-given raw sexual energy. 

Image suggesting self-confidence

Our sexuality affects every aspect of who we are and what we do as human beings. Our sexuality contributes to our sense of self and self-esteem.

So does being able to date women successfully - as you will see if you read Joshua Pellicer and his Tao Of Badass. Pellicer is one of the gurus of the seduction community .

Our raw sexual energy is a creative flow that permeates our being and makes us quiver with emotion, sensation and anticipation.

It is the energy of creativity, emotional life and sexuality, as well as being a source of joy and pleasure which is healing and bonding. And, yes, it controls how one reaches out and relates to others.

Sexual or erotic energy is a route to higher spiritual powers and to the essence of ourselves. Our minds, bodies and spirits depend on the sensuality of being sexually alive, vital, joyous and fulfilled.

Sexual energy produces passion and connection in sexual love and excites us with love and life. When energy is flowing we see our selves as sexual beings; our thoughts, emotions, and actions are infused with purpose, meaning, passion, sensuality and desire, with abundance of vitality and life.

We are aware of the flow of erotic energy around our body, and become better lovers.

This is great for our sexual partners, and supportive of our personal confidence too.

Sexual self-confidence is the knowledge we've reached a level of psycho-sexual development where we feel desirable without the desire for anything else outside us.

We know the unique and valuable part of us is sexual - and we want to offer it unconditionally to a sexual partner. It's a higher level of self esteem. 

Sexual self-confidence determines how we interact with the opposite sex, who we feel attracted to, the things we try and what we avoid.  Our sexual self confidence affects everything we think, feel, say and especially do, and it touches  everything and everyone we contact.

It even influences how we stand, the way we walk, talk, respond to stress, and go about everyday things; it determines how we seek out success and even what that means to us.

When you have high sexual-confidence in yourself as a sexual man or sexual woman, you attract the opposite sex. 

You project some kind of magnetic sexual state because you're free of judgments, inhibitions, dependent neediness, insecurities, anger and resentment, wounds, the trauma of painful humiliations, free of confusions, lacking in jealousies, have no fears or inadequacies, are untouched by rejection or failure, and have no need of control and conflict, and self-doubt, confusion and shame are unknown to you.

You can direct your sexual interests, sexual urges, sexual energy and activities to the little spark of interest that fires up into a strong emotional connection and a sexual lasting bond.

When you have high sexual self-confidence as a sexual male or sexual female you are self-assured, very relaxed, sensuous and better able to use your body as an intelligent channel for ideas, emotions, sexual interest and sexual desire. You can figure out how to get what you want out of life and you will always operate in ways that actually help others get what they want as well.

When you have a strong sexual confidence, you love lovemaking and sex and take the time and trouble to please your sexual partner; you enjoy making love for much greater time because your innate sense of your sexual value is  appreciated. 

Your erotic yearnings, sexual feelings, libidinous desires, and sexual impulses connect you strongly with your sexual partner.

The higher your level of supreme sexual self confidence the more noticeable your sexual aura and your erotic presence. With these, you do not need to act  or dress "sexy" because you are sexy!

Around intensely sexual people you can almost feel their sexual energy. And of course, when the opposite sex feels that energy, they are irresistibly drawn to you, even when they don't know why.

The differences between people in sexual confidence is immense: the difference between being in the sexual "zone" or being sexually fumbling and inept.

For example, suppose that you have a tendency to ejaculate prematurely? This common problem can ruin sex for both men and women, shatter a man's sexual self-confidence and even lead to high levels of stress between partners.

Yet the treatment for premature ejaculation is surprisingly quick and easy, and you can learn at home how to control your ejaculation. This treatment program will give you the power to choose when you ejaculate during sex.

But of course sexual confidence is not just about being able to control your ejaculation, though that is a major part of being a good lover.

You also need to know the right sexual techniques, the best sex positions, and the best way to develop a loving and intimate relationship. For advice on these aspects of relationships, and advice on sexual dysfunctions, check out these helpful sites.

Finally, there is the difficult and challenging question of erectile dysfunction. Treatment for erection problems is actually not difficult in many cases, but this is a problem which can shake your self-confidence and sense of masculinity, so if it affects you, then start looking for effective treatment for erectile dysfunction.

Sex is often is a source of great pleasure and fulfillment, but even when you feel satisfied with your sex life, anxiety about your sexual performance has much more to do with your experience of sex - whether it reinforces your sense of self-worth or not.

So what is a "normal" sex life? What sort of activities are normal?

Most people wonder if their sex lives are normal - especially around fantasies and masturbation.

A lot of information on frequency of sexual intercourse is misleading - the truth is that an average is just that and hides very high and very low numbers, all of which are normal. 

The success of your sex life is really based on how sexually satisfied and fulfilled you are. Does that depend, for you, on how many orgasms you have? Or how easily you reach orgasm?

Your comfort with sex will depend on how successful your sexual intercourse is, as well as things like premature ejaculation, delayed orgasm, and whether or not you can come during sex if you are a woman - these things all produce a reduction of sexual self-confidence, as well as stress and tension.

Also, what is "normal" sexual behavior depends on cultural and emotional things like the standards of normality in a society. Apart from S&M, more or less every sexual behavior between consenting adults is normal, when judged by how many men and women enjoy it!

Of course, men and women all respond to a huge variety of sexual stimuli, which is fine if no emotional or physical harm results and no discomfort or conflict is caused.

How can sexual partners know if each other's needs are being met?

The best way to find out is to ask your partner. If some sexual practice causes guilt, shame, or anxiety, or your mood is persistently down, then things need to change. If your sex life makes you feel positive it's likely your sexual relationship is working well.

What can we do about sexual issues?

See a professional therapist. This might be a sexual psychotherapist or a doctor if there is a medical issue causing erectile dysfunction.

But many people will not see a professional, in which case the nest best solution is to seek help from an effective self help program. For common sexual conditions which can reduce sexual pleasure, we have some selections as follows.

The first and foremost condition which destroys a man's sexual self-confidence though not necessarily his desire to have intercourse, is premature ejaculation. This has been defined as a man ejaculating before either he or his partner wishes, regardless of how long that might be in time.

There's a suggestion of sex being over before it is complete. For men who wish to know what causes premature ejaculation, there is plenty of material available there.

The prevalence of premature ejaculation is discussed here, and as you can see it is so common as to be regarded as normal! This emphasizes the difficulty of actually defining what is normal, as we suggested above. Most people - most men, certainly - would appreciate the ability to last longer during sex, even if this made their sexual performance abnormal!

Lots more men than is generally appreciated have  issues around getting and staying hard. It's probably true to say that this is more of a sexual self-confidence sapper than anything else, because the ability to get an erect penis and make love is such a fundamental part of a man's sexual self-esteem and self-confidence.

Treatment for erectile dysfunction is surprisingly successful.

There are wide variations in the level of sexual desire among men and women; sexual desire also fluctuates for each person throughout life. If a couple's differences in levels of sexual desire is small, they can negotiate their sexual activity so that they remain sexually self confident.

But if differences in sexual desire are large, there is a negative impact on the sexual relationship.

The partner with the lower level of desire may feel he or she is being pressured into sex and this can lead to resentment, anger and greater decline in sexual desire. The one with the higher libido may feel unloved, unwanted and even sexually desperate.

Dealing with a large difference in sexual desire can be challenging.

It's good for the relationship when the man or woman with the higher libido feels his or her sexual needs are being respected and the one with the lower libido feels he or she is not being pressured into sex.

The latter might provide sexual gratification for the former without sexual intercourse.

The use of masturbation or oral sex avoids unwanted sexual experience if one partner doesn't feel like getting aroused.

It can also help sexual self confidence when the person with the lower level of sexual desire gets emotional satisfaction from pleasing the other partner. Both partners feel cared for and worthy.

What about couples who experience problems when their sexual interests are different?

Negotiation skills are needed to arrive at a pattern of sexual behavior that is acceptable to male and female partners.

And of course, don't engage in behavior you find distressing or repellent; but you might like to try some experimentation with your partner's sexual fantasy or behavior to help you explore your own feelings. There's always counseling, as well.

What are the conditions that make it possible for a person to engage in satisfying sexual behavior?

To be sexually aroused normally, and function sexually, you need to be sexually self-confident, free from anxiety, enjoy mental and physical stimulation, and be able to focus attention on arousing thoughts, feelings or behavior.

Sexual self-confidence includes knowing you'll be able to succeed sexually, believing you are attractive, and trusting your partner has good intentions.

Of course, anxiety can lead to sexual failure. Performance anxiety interferes with sexual arousal. The inability to become aroused can increase the anxiety.

In general, we get a sense of our sexuality and sexual needs being met by the mental stimulation of a partner they love or find attractive, physical stimulation, and sexual desire.

For stimulation to be sexually arousing, there must be no distraction by thoughts of possible failure or a lack of self-confidence.

Delayed ejaculation

Definition of delayed ejaculation

Delayed Ejaculation

Porn and Delayed ejaculation

How to control premature ejaculation

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