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Sexual Power

Men: Do you want to develop sexual power?

As far as sexual problems are concerned, the problem lies in poor communication between the partners.

It turns out that many couples have got some kind of sexual problems are just simply not able to discuss their sexual relationship.

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The result of this is that they are both unable to express any anxieties and needs they have around sex, and they also start to guess what the other one is thinking and feeling.

The problem with this approach to any relationship is that it leads to serious misconceptions, and of course it may also make the sexual difficulties worse.

Any woman whose interest in sex is reduced, for any reason, may find it very challenging to tell a partner that she requires a very different approach -- perhaps, for example, more gentle caressing - before she can begin to become aroused.

However, if she doesn't communicate this to her man, he may mistake her sexual response as a personal rejection, and start to withdraw both from sex and the relationship.

Another possibility is that he will actually hurry through sex to get it over with, because he believes that his partner is not interested in it.

This may mean that he develops premature ejaculation - an anxiety related dysfunction.

If his resentment increases, he may therefore develop ejaculation delays, which is often associated with anger.

So just as any kind of disturbance in the general relationship between sexual partners is often the cause of sexual dysfunction, what maintains sexual dysfunction is the continuance of disharmony with in the relationship.

The problem is that sexuality, trust, affection, and the general emotional tone of the relationship are all closely linked. This means that a disturbance in any one of these factors will definitely have an impact on all the others.

For example, a satisfactory sexual relationship cannot be maintained if either partner is feeling a huge amount of resentment, or zero affection towards the other partner.

Studies conducted in England have shown that sexual dysfunction is actually secondary to general problems and relationship in about 20% of men and women referred to sexual problem clinics.

As a therapist, one might have some difficulty in establishing the quality and emotional tone of a couple's relationship, but the fact of the matter is that a reasonable assumption can be made about it if you see sexual dysfunction.

But serious general relationship problems both cause sexual difficulties and also mean that sex therapy cannot take place.

Before therapy can happen, the relationship in general must be subject to therapy and couple come to some kind of understanding that allows discussion and therapy for sexual dysfunction to take place.

However, the good news is that less serious problems can be dealt with during sex therapy, as long as the couple have sufficient positive feelings between them and are willing to communicate on the matter.

Delayed ejaculation

Definition of delayed ejaculation

Delayed Ejaculation

Porn and Delayed ejaculation

How to control premature ejaculation

It turns out that fear of intimacy is a common cause of sexual difficulties.

Intimacy is more or less a special quality of emotional closeness between two people, and involves mutual caring, open communication of feelings, trust, responsibility, and the lack of defensiveness in the exchange of information about how each partner is feeling.

In relationships where intimacy is high, there's probably going to be sexual happiness because both the man and woman are able to take erotic pleasure in each other, and are able to be open about what each needs and what they do not like.

Obviously childhood experience has a significant impact on how able one is as an adult to express intimacy.

A background characterized by a lack of warmth and affection give rise to adults who find it difficult to establish intimate relationships.

Intimacy problems often mean that somebody will have a series of relationships, which characteristically end at the point where the person establishes a level of intimacy which is emotionally threatening to them.

In couples where sexual dysfunction exists, this lack of intimacy, or lack of trust, as you prefer, manifests as one or both partners lacking the emotional impetus to engage wholeheartedly in a sexual relationship with the other.

For example, one partner may rush the sexual act to get it over with because the closeness of mutual caressing and sexual intimacy is threatening.

Another way of expressing repressed feelings and thoughts about the sexual act is delayed ejaculation, which can suppress ejaculation and deprive both partners of sexual pleasure, whilst leaving the couple frustrated and angry with each other after sex.

To clarify the point made earlier, in such a situation the couple won't even talk about their feelings after sex has "failed", which tends to mean that things get even worse.

And once a sexual dysfunction has become established within a relationship, the effect of this on an individual's whole self-image may become much worse.

For example, a man may feel that is not masculinity if he has erectile dysfunction.

But he then feels anxious about his erectile dysfunction, and his anxiety then erodes his self-image as, say, a competent man who can cope effectively with life.

Once a man who is unable to reach orgasm during sex with a female partner, a condition explained here, she may feel that she is not a complete woman, sexually. And then this impacts on her self-image.

Unfortunately people often transferred their emotional dysfunction on to their partner, so that a woman, for example, who fakes orgasm, may actually know that her man needs to bring her to orgasm to feel good about himself, and she colludes in this deception.

The key to overcoming all of these problems is good therapy with a therapist who understands the nature of these dysfunctional relationships between men and women, and who facilitates each member of the couple to take their personal power back.

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